Request Please review and tell me what you think

[Austin Rowsell]

Hey so I want opinions on my new draft for my description, please let me know what you think!!!
"Hey fellow gamer, TotingGames here, I play fps games like call of duty. As well as upcoming new video games like star citizen and apex legends. I provide commentary and background music for entertainment. You want Technical tips on computers well we do that here under my Technology playlist.
So what are you waiting for? Watch, enjoy, and engage in all my social media pages today!!!"

Thanks
TotingGames

 

[Somali - Entertainment]

ok

 

[SparktheYoshi]

I would suggest not using the term "gamer" but that's just me. You may also want to work on spelling and capitalization as people may be turned off by the lack of that. Also on that, the excessive use of punctuation at the end.

 

[KnightHunter Studios]

There are some general punctuation and grammatical errors made here and there, but it gets the point across very smoothly and the idea behind the channel is portrayed nicely!