(from comment in soundcloud) rendering? the clash in chords begining render?
my question would be, what are you trying to convey? cause I do agree with the other half you got going. the chords, pulse(sudden stop, then again unfinished. you adding more?)
besides the 'chord clash' grab the listeners attention, if you like that last half. meaning hit big at first and welcome them in your atmospheric phase you have. I like your arp, pad, choir, sadly not the piano, to me it doesn't fit your timbre(while I know there are multiple songs that include a piano, if want to keep the piano, there are free VST's online way better than the stock versions some DAW's include. and have a calm attack(take out a little of the highs and lows) ). what I think is missing and should replace your piano with a sub(expect for the chords the piano have, that'd be a scary bass mess
)
last thing: if your going atmospheric fill up the headroom you have open, choirs and pad=stereo separation. also in a way make it 'breathe' modulate your pad especially. it really adds value to the moment you made in the first half.
ok, I feel like a jerk with all of this nonsense. (with someone that makes chainsaw music, or broken chips *me* ) personal opinions here and there, but I do hope you agree with the first question I asked 'Convey'. Storytelling, a brief Moment, what to feel, etc.
Hope this Helps! keep going!
-SolarJTR5