Life changes.... disapointed

[Olivea Sea]

So as some of you maybe have noticed I haven't been here allot anymore and my YT channel has not been active. My last forum post was about my neighboors who where driving me crazy and luckily I'm now moving away to a new place in a new city... but for the rest life has kinda been horrible lately.

I was actually going to graduate as a spacial designer in July and I'm not going to because I keep failing every assesment/exam even though I do my best it is just not enough anymore and I'm trying to accept that this is probabbly something I'm a failure at after 6 years of studying. I couldn't keep meself together after my last assement at school and I realize that there is nothing left of the happy person that started this study in the first place. Although I look happy in my video's, I haven''t slept a whole night in month's, cried everyday and have lost the mayority of my friends in the last couple of years. My social life is basicly been this and this alone.
( Also there has been allot of stress because of health problems with my stepdad who I see as my real dad.)

I realized that I was not happy with my study choice for some time and I'm enrolled for a private beauty school to start in September, what I'm still going to do because my Youtube channel was the only thing that has made me happy the last 2 years. I'm dropping out early what means that I have no idea what I'm actually going to do untill September and luckily I have a supportive boyfriend who is giving me the time to deal with all the emotion that go's with accepting this.

I'm just posting this here because I don't have many people to talk to about this openly and I always feel very accepted on this forum.... I'm thinking about to just go and work on meself the next few months, lose weight, getting a healthy living patern and start enjoying the things that do make me happy like my youtube channel and I'm thinking to vlog about this because vlogging helpt me allot during christmas to deal with life.

Sorry for the long post.... xxx Olivea

 

[TwilightPrinze]

Sorry to hear this all happened Olivea. Life can be tough sometimes but at least you found a new road to take and a new dream to follow
Good to hear that you boyfriend is there to support you as we all need it sometimes.
For me life has been tough too but we always find something to hang on too.
I hope your new start in September will take you where you want to go and best of luck

 

[fattmat]

So as some of you maybe have noticed I haven't been here allot anymore and my YT channel has not been active. My last forum post was about my neighboors who where driving me crazy and luckily I'm now moving away to a new place in a new city... but for the rest life has kinda been horrible lately.

I was actually going to graduate as a spacial designer in July and I'm not going to because I keep failing every assesment/exam even though I do my best it is just not enough anymore and I'm trying to accept that this is probabbly something I'm a failure at after 6 years of studying. I couldn't keep meself together after my last assement at school and I realize that there is nothing left of the happy person that started this study in the first place. Although I look happy in my video's, I haven''t slept a whole night in month's, cried everyday and have lost the mayority of my friends in the last couple of years. My social life is basicly been this and this alone.
( Also there has been allot of stress because of health problems with my stepdad who I see as my real dad.)

I realized that I was not happy with my study choice for some time and I'm enrolled for a private beauty school to start in September, what I'm still going to do because my Youtube channel was the only thing that has made me happy the last 2 years. I'm dropping out early what means that I have no idea what I'm actually going to do untill September and luckily I have a supportive boyfriend who is giving me the time to deal with all the emotion that go's with accepting this.

I'm just posting this here because I don't have many people to talk to about this openly and I always feel very accepted on this forum.... I'm thinking about to just go and work on meself the next few months, lose weight, getting a healthy living patern and start enjoying the things that do make me happy like my youtube channel and I'm thinking to vlog about this because vlogging helpt me allot during christmas to deal with life.

Sorry for the long post.... xxx Olivea

That's great that your boyfriend is willing to support you. Working on yourself the next couple of months may take time, but you'll feel better every week. I'm sorry that you went through so much lately, it can be hard to manage when everything is stacking against you. I hope that you're able to do more with everything you want to do!

 

[Enmoshin]

So as some of you maybe have noticed I haven't been here allot anymore and my YT channel has not been active. My last forum post was about my neighboors who where driving me crazy and luckily I'm now moving away to a new place in a new city... but for the rest life has kinda been horrible lately.

I was actually going to graduate as a spacial designer in July and I'm not going to because I keep failing every assesment/exam even though I do my best it is just not enough anymore and I'm trying to accept that this is probabbly something I'm a failure at after 6 years of studying. I couldn't keep meself together after my last assement at school and I realize that there is nothing left of the happy person that started this study in the first place. Although I look happy in my video's, I haven''t slept a whole night in month's, cried everyday and have lost the mayority of my friends in the last couple of years. My social life is basicly been this and this alone.
( Also there has been allot of stress because of health problems with my stepdad who I see as my real dad.)

I realized that I was not happy with my study choice for some time and I'm enrolled for a private beauty school to start in September, what I'm still going to do because my Youtube channel was the only thing that has made me happy the last 2 years. I'm dropping out early what means that I have no idea what I'm actually going to do untill September and luckily I have a supportive boyfriend who is giving me the time to deal with all the emotion that go's with accepting this.

I'm just posting this here because I don't have many people to talk to about this openly and I always feel very accepted on this forum.... I'm thinking about to just go and work on meself the next few months, lose weight, getting a healthy living patern and start enjoying the things that do make me happy like my youtube channel and I'm thinking to vlog about this because vlogging helpt me allot during christmas to deal with life.

Sorry for the long post.... xxx Olivea

Sometimes it's okay to be sad in a video. It shows that you're human, and i'm sure you'll be surprised by the amount of support you'll receive from your viewers that want you to succeed and do well in life.

And yes, sometimes life sucks. I've definitely have had my fair share of .. well, unfairness. It happens, but these things only make you smarter and stronger as the years ago by. Keep your chin up and you'll see in a few years.

I'm glad you have someone in your life that's supporting you!
I'm sure Freedom! doesn't mind hearing your rants about life since I'm sure many of us can relate to what you're going through.

 

[Olivea Sea]

Thanks you guys for the support!
I'm just busy moving and trying to forget about the whole situation..... I cried for 4 days straight but now I'm getting at that point that I can ignore it but the feels do sneak up on me and then I feel like mess all over again.

I still need to tell my parents who don't know yet, they are helping out with the move and calling my bf behind my back to check if I'm still going to school. For me this is the hardest part because I disappointed them and I don't have any control about the situation. I'm probably going to tell them after next week when we are done moving and all that stress is gone but I'm just dreading the moment and kinda avoiding everybody I hate not just to be able to scream..... F*ck it all...

 

[Koala_Steamed]

Wow sorry to hear about all this, life can really suck sometimes. Study can definitely be rough, the previous study that I did I really wasn't enjoying and took me 4 years to complete. Sometimes some things just aren't meant for you, I'm much happier with what I am studying now though. Taking a break from things for time for yourself sounds good, sometimes that is what you need to realize what you want to do. Keep your options open and know you have us for support also!