I think the basic premise is nice.  However, it's too short in my opinion, and the ending is very abrupt.  I think some background music could help, along with some varying vocal ranges.  You look too serious!  You want them to come because it'll be a fun adventure, right?  Make it seem more that way, I think that'll really help sell your channel.
Don't take everything I say at full-value either.  It's just my humble opinion.  Good Start!